Okay, so... THAT WASN'T IT

I can't really sit and type since I'm due at Nuyorican in six and a half hours and still haven't gotten any shut-eye. But after tonight, it's been confirmed: the blog isn't over yet.

So much to cover this weekend...

I'm gonna start with dating and sex.

So here's the deal, short, sweet and to the point: I still have sex with Rob, but lately he hasn't been dependable on providing orgasms and I realized that we've NEVER had an actual conversation. (Yeah, two years together and the only thing we ever talk about is our relationship. How's that for unhealthy?) Those two things combine to give me ample reason to limit our time together. So I have. And the singles scene ain't what I remember, to say the least.

I remember, three or four years ago, fucking my way uptown on a Friday night just to fuck my way back downtown by Sunday evening - all to sleep off the heady high of sexual euphoria in time for Monday's work and classes. I've come to the realization that something must've happened between then and now: I've become sexually desensitized, my memory's lying to me, or I'm shit out of luck cuz lemme tell ya, the "great fuck" has taken on the mythic proportions of the Yeti of Loch Ness Monster and I am H-O-R-N-Y.

I'm dating a few people - a woman included - and remembering that pretty faces and kicking good games don't mean that people have the skills to get me off. The woman I'm seeing, PW, is hot - but more than that, she and I can vibe with each other on so many levels. With the men, it's all about looks and personality - but not intellect. I feel like now's the time that karma's biting me in the ass. It seems to be saying, "You had a good run with so many men who loved you, nurtured your spirit and intellect, and fucked you silly - and you denied each and every one of them any real opportunity at a serious, long-term relationship. Now you get to see what the other side's like."

And sex?! I dunno. Maybe I'm out of practice with telling someone new what I like, but five years ago, screaming out, "Yeah. Right there. Don't stop doing that," was appropriate and got the job done. Does that not work anymore? Or am I fucking men who don't know how to listen/don't care to listen once they've been invited to the show? (I haven't slept with PW yet.)

Speaking of "the show," what the fuck is up with dudes that expect you to diddle your clit to get yourself off?! Honestly, I've always held the position that you should NEVER have to masturbate while fucking someone. During foreplay? Sure! But during the act itself? Nah, man. Fuck that. If I need to do all the real work, then you're just there for the privilege of watching it happen - and I don't need to risk pregnancy, STDs and wasted time in order to put on a show. Just pay me money and I'll hook up a webcam. Fo real.